A lot of men say they support women. Fewer men notice how often they still take up the room.
That is why I wrote Get Out of the Way.
This book is for men who believe in women’s leadership but still need to look honestly at the habits, systems, fears, assumptions, and ego that keep getting in the way. It is direct because it needs to be. Women have been told to wait, soften, smile, explain, prove, adjust, qualify, and make everyone comfortable for too long.
Men do not need another book congratulating them for thinking women are strong. Men need a book that asks what they are doing with the power, influence, attention, and space they already have.
Why this book matters
Women are already leading. They are leading families, teams, organizations, movements, communities, classrooms, clinics, businesses, and conversations that should have listened to them sooner. The problem is not a lack of capability. The problem is how often women are still forced to lead around men instead of with the full support of men.
That shows up in obvious ways, but it also shows up in small daily patterns. Men interrupt. Men explain things women already know. Men get credit for ideas women carried first. Men call themselves allies while waiting to see whether supporting a woman will cost them anything. Men stay quiet when another man diminishes, dismisses, jokes, delays, or takes over.
This book asks men to stop confusing agreement with action. If you support women leading, your behavior should make that easier, not harder.
Who this book is for
Get Out of the Way is for men who want to be better than performative support. It is for fathers raising daughters and sons. It is for husbands and partners. It is for leaders, board members, executives, pastors, coaches, coworkers, and any man who has ever said he believes women should lead but has not fully examined how his own habits affect the room.
It is also for women who are tired of explaining the same things to men who should already know better. I wrote this book from my side of the conversation, but I know many women will recognize the patterns immediately because they have lived them.
This is not a book about men hating themselves. It is a book about men becoming honest enough to change.
What getting out of the way actually means
Getting out of the way does not mean disappearing. It does not mean men have nothing to offer. It means men need to stop assuming they are automatically the center, the expert, the decider, the rescuer, the translator, or the person whose comfort matters most.
Sometimes getting out of the way means listening without preparing your defense. Sometimes it means giving credit clearly and publicly. Sometimes it means recommending a woman for the role instead of quietly assuming you are the safer choice. Sometimes it means challenging another man in the moment instead of texting support privately afterward.
It also means understanding that women do not need men to grant permission. They need men to stop creating unnecessary barriers, stop taking the microphone, and stop acting surprised when women are better prepared to lead than the men who kept being handed the room.
Why I wrote it
I wrote Get Out of the Way because I have spent years in leadership, healthcare, family life, and community work watching women carry more than they should have had to carry. I have worked with brilliant women who did not need more confidence. They needed fewer obstacles. They needed people to stop making leadership harder simply because they were women.
I have also had to look at myself. That is part of the point. This book is not written from a place of moral distance. It is written by a man who has had to learn, unlearn, apologize, listen, and pay closer attention.
Men are often good at agreeing with the idea of women leading. The harder work is noticing what happens when a woman’s leadership challenges our comfort, our assumptions, our authority, or our need to feel important.
That is where the real work starts.
A book men should read before they call themselves allies
If you are a man who says you support women, read this book. If you lead a team, read this book. If you are raising kids, read this book. If you are married to, working with, voting for, mentoring, supervising, or being led by women, read this book.
And if your first instinct is to think this book is probably for other men, that might be the clearest sign you should start here.
Get Out of the Way is available now on Amazon.
You can also browse all of my books here: